A dichotomy?

I have learned something recently--

It is possible to be content and want something at the same time.

Now wait, I know this sounds like a "duh" statement, something you wouldn't even think twice about. But I feel like so many times in the Christian world we are told to be content and contentment is the absence of longing. But I simply don't believe this to be true anymore.

In what I call "Brio" Christianity (Brio maganize) young girls are encouraged to be content in being single and not obsess over wanting a guy etc...and even when they get older, it is considered some heroic feat of faith to be one of those girls who is completely content to just wait infinitely in singleness and not want a relationship. This has become idealized so much in our Christian circles, that it almost makes it seem as though those who want relationships are less of a Christian, not as mature. But I just don't buy that.

I am single. And I am content in that--I'm okay with it. But, at the very same time, I also want someting more as well--and I think that is okay.

I agree with the concept behind the "Brio Christianity" idea of not obsessing over wanting and relationship etc--it's not healthy to be consumed by something you want. But I also don't think it's healthy to supress a God-given longing inside of you and deny that is there out of some miscontstrewed sense of contentment.

This is why I think it is possible to be content and want more at the same time. These two emotions or states of being do not have to war against each other.

This doesn't just apply to relationships...it can apply to a lot of ares; careers, families, circumstances, finances, churches---the list is endless. I can be content with the job I have while still wanting more or looking for other opportunities. I can be content with the money I make and still hope to make more to provide even more for my family or give more to missions etc...I can be content with the way my church is and still hope for greater things for it. I can be content that I am single and still be looking for someone and acknowledge that's what I want.

Contentment is not the absence of longing, but rather, the ability to want something more while still appreciating what you have.

I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name

I have recently discovered the band Tenth Avenue North and here are some of my recent favorite lyrics:

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

I just want to take a second and testify to how good God is. He always fills every need and is so good to give me everything I actually need. Lately, I have been in a place of feeling devalued, my self-esteem has taken some huge blows--and God has been so good to remind me in little ways, through small comments made by friends who think nothing of them, or by guys just treating me especially well, that I am valued and loved. He has built me up just when I needed it most.

"So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name"

Yes. Yes and yes a million times yes.