It is what it is

I am alone.

I have friends, I have family, I have mentors--but I am alone.

I long for the days when that was okay. The days where I wasn't even aware that I was alone. Or the days when I knew it and didn't care because I was fine being just me. But unfortunately a little growing up, and a taste of what it was like to not be alone has brought the world the lonely, bitter and jaded person I can be. I don't understand how the only people who are ever interested in me are people I would never be with. How is that possible? How can I attract people from all different walks of life that are always the "losers" who aren't doing anything with their lives and yet I seem to like them. Or--I get people who are quality yet I don't find them attractive at all. I don't understand.

What I do know is that I'm alone. And I hate it. My content days are over, apparently.

I've been living with a well I didn't know was dry
Damn the wretched rain for showing me my need
And I didn't know my thirst until that first taste
And know I ache for more but the skies refuse to rain

My well is an ache in my heart for you
To be by my side
My well is an ache in my heart
And the water I need is the love that you give

From deep within my well come the tears that I've cried
'Cause the deeper that I dig the emptier I am
And the walls inside my well are dry for they are cracked
And until they are filled I can hold no rain

My well is an ache in my heart for You
To be by my side
My well is an ache in my heart
And the water I need is the love that You give

Quench my thirst with something that will satisfy, something that won't leave me dry
Quench my thirst--make it last for more than just tonight--make me feel alive

My well is an ache in my heart for You
To be by my side
My well is an ache in my heart
And the water I need is the love that You give

Bjork

As it turns out...I LOVE these lyrics

you'll be given love
you'll be taken care of
you'll be given love
you have to trust it

maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
maybe not from the directions
you are staring at

trust your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you

all is full of love
you just aint receiving
all is full of love
your phone is off the hook
all is full of love
your doors are all shut
all is full of love!

all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love